AmIBeingCatty.com reader ‘Allison’ writes in:
“Here’s the deal. At work there’s a Director lady who’s an idiot. I have to work with her on my project as she’s the business owner of one of the processes being impacted. Her and her idiot ideas are constantly causing road blocks. In our last Exec Steering meeting she started talking about how we weren’t fixing her big problem. Well, I spoke up and let everyone know that her explanation of the problem was wrong. Meow. So now she is refusing to invite me to any of her meetings to find a solution. Wondering if I should go way above her to complain or just let her keep digging her hole.”
You have two options:
1) You can get an overpriced bag of Cheetos and a Mountain Dew from that break room vending machine and take a front row seat to watch as she spirals into a kamikaze dive with flames a-trailing. It is childish of her to exclude you from future meetings because she got her feelings hurt. Boo. Hoo. Seriously, How can people fix her problem if she’s explaining it wrong? Leave a surprise gift of a pacifier, rattle, and a good therapist’s number at her desk with a note saying, “It seems you may have some neglect issues to work through. Here’s hoping you can forgive your mommy. Outlook my calendar when you’re back in the game.”
OR YOU COULD GO FOR #2 WHICH IS HIGHLY RECOMMENDED BY THE AIBC TEAM
2) AmIBeingCatty.com ALWAYS recommends taking the higher road with a side of perspective. Historically, the professional mentality would support letting her dig herself into that hole — a hole deeper than a tenacious brute-child’s attempt to reach China. So let’s analyze why she may be reacting the way she is.
Regardless of how minimal the director’s problem is to everyone else, she is harping on it because it is a big deal to HER. So a little self-centered? Maybe. The problem may really hinder her team and your comment may have unintentionally humiliated her in that meeting, you catty bitch. Meow! We don’t know the history of your professional relationship with this woman, but you call her an idiot which clues us in your patience is very thin with her. Be sure to not let her cloud your judgment.
STILL, excluding anyone from all future meetings is highly immature and counterproductive to the company’s efforts. So SHAME ON HER! If you’re being excluded from meetings, document that you are. As a matter of fact, document more than a bored scientist mid-Winter in Antarctica. If it comes out later that you weren’t in attendance, you want to be able to prove that you were excluded. If she can’t articulate her own problem accurately, how can anyone work to correct it?
It may be paranoid to act like you’re being set-up, but it’s ALWAYS about covering your own ass because no one else will. You could go above her, but how do your company executives feel about internal squabbles and tattle tales? (sorry, ‘Allison’, we both know that’s how it will be viewed.) If she is at a director level, we feel confident that anyone way above her won’t care about a petty dispute between you two regardless of who is at fault. People “way above” a director level expect their employees to handle these incidents without their involvement.
Is she right? NO. Were you right initially? We know. Looking at yourself sucks. For future career growth, lock this knowledge down now — if you have a criticism for a peer or superior, make it in private. All you’ll do by calling them out is open a new hornets’ nest of ass-hurt. Swallow your pride and just get the job done. YES, we know it is not always ideal to have to smooth feathers over and play nice, and it sucks to have to cater to someone’s insecurities when a business venture is hanging in the lurch. BUT, diplomacy is an excellent corporate skill, and over time we’ve learned that diplomacy means catering to individuals’ needs to get what YOU need. So stay the course and keep your career goals in mind. Chances are your ideals will not always be the same as every person you work for or are required to collaborate with.
Much love and good luck,
The AmIBeingCatty.com Team
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