Did she REALLY just say that?


I fell victim to a family memeber’s moment of cattiness this past week while on  vacation and I must admit that I didn’t respond in a productive manner.  I did, and still do, feel vindicated in my rather abrupt response to what I viewed as a personal attack.  Maybe I was out of line; here is how it went down:

I ordered an entrée for dinner that I was sharing with my son and we ate it all.  About 2 hours later I was helping gather snacks for our family excursion the next day, I was filling snack bags with snack mix when 2 pieces of cereal fell onto the counter.  Without thinking I popped them into my mouth, my chewing was interrupted by the raised voice of a senior family member.  She exclaimed, “You’re eating AGAIN!?!?”

Almost immediately my blood started boiling and I had to refrain from trying to inhale the entire bag of cheerios while she watched in horror.   I responded in a raised voice with, “Yes I am, is there a problem?  Last time I checked I am an adult and can eat whenever and whatever I like.”

Now mind you, I am not a skinny girl.  The message she was trying to deliver, whatever it’s intent, probably would have been taken as an attack regardless of how it was delivered.  So with elevated voices and multi-generational family vacation variables added it was bound to become a pressurized situation.  I felt proud that I kept my sailor tongue in check and somehow prevented myself from flying across the table at her.  I just wanted to yell, “I didn’t say anything when you ate 2 sandwiches (1 of which was mine) and a Slimfast bar today” or “you ate an entire entrée by yourself tonight” but I remained calm.

The next morning she apologized stating that she had forgotten that I had split my meal the night before but I couldn’t help but feel that regardless of the situation it was probably a thought she should have kept to herself.

Do you feel that comments made about a person’s eating habits are catty or helpful?




8 responses to “Did she REALLY just say that?

  1. Definitely catty! No one should judge! No matter what it’s unhelpful. If you’re trying to watch what you’re eating, and you’re having a legitimate moment of failure to do that, judgment makes you feel guilty. If you don’t care, then the comment is irrelevant. If you’re within your set bounds of what you intend to eat in a day, the comment is irrelevant and annoying 😉 Lifestyle and diet are personal and if someone doesn’t have something positive to contribute, they should probably avoid comment.

  2. Unless you are staging an intervention for an overeaters/anorexic anonymous candidate, comments about eating habits are best kept to yourself.

  3. I agree Elizabeth, somethings are just private. I am glad to know that I am not alone in thinking a line was crossed.

  4. catty. period. commenting directly on someone’s specific eating is always, ALWAYS poor form. i don’t care if they just took the last three pancakes from the plate after having two servings already. i am STILL fighting being a “hiding” eater, sneaking bites in the kitchen and eating some of the food on my plate before bringing it to the table, because people would comment on what i was eating or how much, and it embarrassed me, and shamed me, and i would actually use that shame to fuel binges later. so their comments? didn’t help. any. AT ALL. they actually contributed to the problem.

    and it goes the other way too. if someone politely refuses your offerings of something, be it cookies, cakes, meat products, wheat products, etc, the proper response is not, “oh come on… it’s just one!” or “but you’re so skinny already! it won’t kill you!” or “are you still doing that gluten thing?” the proper response is, “ok, cool!” and that’s it. no “well, i’ll just put them over here if you change your mind, ok? *winkwink*” or “are you really sure, well. okay. but if you want one, let me know.. there’s plenty!” and especially no “but i made so many! maybe you can just take it home with you?”

    from both sides of the equation, feeling like you’re being watched while you eat really really sucks.

    while your initial response may have been more.. intense than you liked it to be, i probably would have accepted her apology, and followed up with a gentle comment that asking about people’s food, no matter when they last ate, or how much, can be really hurtful. i must admit, her apology seemed to be more, “i forgot that you kind of had an excuse to eat again!” not “i had no business asking you in the first darn place.”.

  5. oh, i am with you 100% and i have a pretty good idea who made that remark … i have to admit, i would have been even worse than you in my response. Want to know my knee-jerk response? I would have turned to her and said “you still breathing?”
    🙂 but no, i don’t have any catty comebacks 😉

  6. comments about another’s eating habits are NEVER helpful and they are part of the reason i have eating issues to begin with … 😦

  7. Definitely catty. And the fact that she had to qualify her apology with an “I had forgotten” shows she doesn’t really get why her question was offensive. She should be apologizing for judging you, not for misjudging what you ate.
    I have never struggled with my weight or had to watch what I ate, so comments like that don’t get under my skin. But I find it ironic that the top two comments I get are “Do you ever eat?” and “Do you ever stop eating?” Why yes, and yes. What is this obsession with other people’s eating habits anyway?

  8. Pingback: Your skinny friend |

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