Reader Submission: My Business Card Kicks Your Card’s A$$

“Amelia” writes:

A guy and I work in the same field, so we had known each other for several years before he came to work with me.  I helped hire him into my company in 2010.  I left in 2011 and with my departure, there was just some bad blood.  I felt like he was part of a group that was “in” with the boss, the same group that pushed some of us who had been there for a while out the door.  I have no proof, but I feel like he told lies about me to the boss. He just got promoted to a director, a position that was suppose to be mine, until the guy who hired me left. A week or so after finding out about his promotion, I wrote him a nice note on my finest stationary and congratulated him, told him that I know he worked hard, just like me, to get to where he is. I closed by saying please keep in touch, and I enclosed my business card which included my new title of “Executive Director.”   HA HA!!!!!!  It was gloating for sure.  Ultimately, I wanted him to know he didn’t ruin my life. In fact I wound up a 1,000 times better.

Now, that’s a nice business card.

Dear “Amelia”,

First, congratulations on your promotion. Since you don’t seem to have a question for us, we’re going to make up a few for you, and answer them.

Question 1: Am I being catty?
Answer: HELL, YES YOU ARE! In fact, you’re so catty that if I had two dead mice, I’d give you one!

Question 2: Could I have been cattier? If so, how?
Answer: Well, there’s always room for improvement, dear. You could have sent him a cake like this:

Let him have his cake and eat it, too!

Let him have his cake and eat it, too!

Question 3: Do you think I’m witty and funny?
Answer: Well, your heart was in the right place. But, then again I think I am witty and funny. In fact, I’m pretty sure I may be the most brilliant person I’ve ever met. I wish “Am I Being Catty” had business cards, because I’d send you one.

I’m CEO, Bitch.

Now, we have questions back to you.

Question 1:  You think this guy lied about you? Spread untrue gossip?  Is this like a “I’ve heard from reliable sources” kind of thing? If so, what a douche. Or is this more like the pope conspiracy theories?  Paranoia is the land just east of CrazyBitchistan.

See what a short hop it is between these two places?

See what a short hop it is between these two places?

Question 2: Why you care? Did you feel the need to prove yourself? If so, have you ever heard the phrase, “living well is the best revenge?”  Keeping up with who’s who at your old job shows you still have resentment toward the situation or lack of resolution. Why do you need him to know you came out in a higher ranking position?

Question 3:  Did you think your jab was on the sly? It does get you a level 3 catty badge and membership to the Disney Villain club. We know it’s a cutthroat world in corporate America, but why burn bridges?

Look, Amelia.  If anything, our questions show you that we really haven’t walked in your shoes.  If the guy was spreading rumors about you and sabotaged your chances at a promotion, we totally get why you did what you did.

We’re not endorsing it, but completely understand your motivation.  And, if that’s the case, then it sounds like he belongs on Team Disney Villain more than you do.  BUT, there’s an upside, as you very well know: Every Disney villain loses in the end, and the princess always gets the guy and/or the Executive Director role.

So, congratulations on the promotion, you Level 3, you.  Now, go enjoy it and stop stressing over how the undeserving turn out.  Captain Karma will take care of that for you.

Just our two cents,

The AIBC Team
#iwinatlife #yougoindownsucka #disneyvillain #crazybitchistan #karma #level3 #amibeingcatty

Advertisements

2 responses to “Reader Submission: My Business Card Kicks Your Card’s A$$

  1. Pingback: Reader Submission: My Business Card Kicks Your Card’s A$$ | cattyliz's Blog

  2. After trying to get a job at the local newspaper in Lubbock, Texas… rather unsuccessfully, I finally moved to Dallas and found a job as a copy editor. The day I accepted the job, I called the editor and said I was no longer available as I had received another job offer. Catty? Yes, but it felt great. Him… he certainly wasn’t heartbroken to lose me.

    I didn’t send a new fancy business card to the editor like this person did, but I can understand where she’s coming from fo’ sure.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s