Top 10 Things to Say When Judged for Wearing White

White after Labor Day is such a controversial fashion rule.  Some swear by it and some have long denounced it, but the truth still stands that regular old Suzy Nobody’s are judged by it.   No one really knows why we can’t wear white between Labor Day and Easter.   And being that there is no rock solid purpose for this rule compounded by the heat of the South, I decided to compile a a Top Ten list of:

THINGS YOU SHOULD SAY WHEN SOME D-BAG, SELF-TITLED FASHIONISTA POINTS OUT YOU’RE BREAKING THE NO-WHITE-AFTER-LABOR-DAY RULE

tumblr_msjzycBgO51sb40lzo1_500

10) When it is 100 degrees outside and my ass is melting off, you should not be concerning yourself with what color my shoes or shorts are.  You should be rescuing my ass and getting me a glass of water!
9)  Oh, I love your wig!
8)  Didn’t Stacy and Clinton feature your shirt on “What Not To Wear”?
7)  You should try it!  I’ll bet wearing white at your night job will give you an edge over the other whores!  It’s like reflectors AND might make you look a little more fresh.
6)  Awwwwwww, I didn’t know you were pregnant!  When are you due??!?!??
5) It’s called Winter White, bitch.
4) It’s not my fault you’re jealous I don’t need the slimming quality of black on my ass year round.
3)  How else am I going to know what day my period will certainly arrive?
2)  I will sacrifice wearing white if you stop wearing spandex or jeggings. Sounds like a reasonable compromise, yes?
1)  You wore white on your wedding day so why can’t I wear white after Labor Day?

So ladies clad yourselves with white, arm yourselves with these comebacks, and cut a bitch with that tongue!

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s