I am sure we all have a catty pet-peeve. For some of us it is gossip, for others it is a fake friend (a frenemy, if you will). For me it is the back handed compliment. Specifically the “but you have such a pretty face” compliment.
Let me give you a rundown of how this conversation usually happens:
Me: I say anything about being fat.
Random Person: “But you have such a pretty face.”
Please don’t misunderstand…I know my face is pretty and I appreciate that you also agree. I am glad that you gaze upon my face and find it pleasing. However, to say “but you have such a pretty face…” gives the impression that you think that is my ONLY redeeming physical quality.
To say “but you have such a pretty face” also implies that I should feel lucky that I have a face that is nice to look at since the rest of me is not so cute. Imagine for a moment how that feels.
I get it. I’m not thin, skinny or athletic. I am fat. It’s ok to say it. Literally I have more fat on my body than is necessary for my survival. But my fat body and pretty face are not mutually exclusive. It is in fact entirely possible to be fat AND gorgeous. It is also possible to be fat and not disgusting. Here is some proof.
So for those friends, relatives, co-workers and random folks who are dishing out this (back handed) compliment to your fatty friends. Knock it the hell off. Consider this your public service announcement. So get out there and stop being catty bitches.
Lots of love,
AIBC Team member