Your catty (and slightly scary) friend

Do you have a friend who tells it like it is? She’s smart and witty. She is brutally honest, delivering cutting remarks with a straight face, but has you rolling in the aisles.

She’s confident in herself. If she has doubts about her parenting skills, job, or body image, you’d never know it. Or she masks those concerns with hilarious deprecating remarks about herself. You love being around her because she says all the evil things you’re saying in your head, but too afraid to say out loud. Let’s face it, she has a gift for cattiness. And you’re a little scared of her. And you feel lucky that she  counts you as a friend.

Remember Clairee Belcher and Ouiser Boudreaux from Steel Magnolias? Yes, I’m definitely a Clairee, and I have a Ouiser.

Clairee and Ouiser – BFFs

They deliver catty remarks and they don’t care who hears them – it can be behind someone’s back or directly to their face.

“Lord, what was Jenny thinking when she put on those pants? Did she gain 10 pounds since leaving the house this  morning?

“Those babies are practically naked, JoAnne. And where are their shoes? This isn’t the Piggly Wiggly in Booneville. Are you trying to make people think you live in a trailer park so you don’t have to host Tuesday’s Bunco party?”

Yes, I’d like to think everyone has one of these friends. We love him or her dearly, but we cringe a little when they unleash their tongue on others.

They have a gift. Let’s be honest. They are the scrapbooking queen of catty.

And we’re just a little fearful of the day when they turn on us. Sometimes it’s a biting remark that leaves you crying in the pantry eating your way into a box of Ho Hos. Other times, you have to laugh because you know it’s not meant as malice, and besides… it’s so damn funny. You tell yourself it’s just their way of delivering the message.

Other times, let’s be honest, you just want to slap them.

She needs her very own t-shirt.

But every so often, you see the soft side.

You see the part of her that very few people see–the side of her that needs you as a friend, needs a hug and a glass of wine and a crying session. And this is the most remarkable of all, because you know that because she allows you to see her vulnerable side, she values you as a true friend who won’t judge or say, “Karma’s a bitch.”

And you can’t help but feel a little bit lucky.



#ouiser #notsomeangirls #keepyourcattyfriendscloser


2 responses to “Your catty (and slightly scary) friend

  1. I would tag my #ouiser, but I’m afraid she’d find out!

  2. Pingback: Hire a B* Out |

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