A while ago I promised you a post on another “no-no” all women should be made aware of and I am here to put in writing what many of us want to scream from the rooftops…
Don’t ask me if I’m pregnant!
This very thing has happened to me on several occasions; my favorite story to tell involved a stranger dropping a bomb on me at work. There I was doing my job when a grinning Nosey Nellie loudly asked, “When are you due, dear? It must be soon.”
At first, my mind couldn’t figure out what she said. I mean, I wasn’t even near her. From more than 8 feet away, this bellowing beast threw a wicked curveball that dropped me to my knees.
I felt my face turn red and I nearly ran to the fitting room to hide from the twelve or so people who were within earshot. Suddenly my mouth opened and I was projecting my voice better than I ever did in drama. “No I am not pregnant! I am just fat. Thank you for pointing that out!” I bellowed.
Immediately she too turned red and stammered, “There was no reason to embarrass me. You could have answered politely.”
I was appalled. I thought I was being very polite. Even though she deserved it, I clenched my teeth tightly to avoid really letting her have it.
After taking several deep breaths, I smiled and nodded as several female onlookers celebrated the victory they witnessed. I shamefully walked off to the stockroom where I cried for the next thirty minutes.
She broke a cardinal rule of polite behavior – she didn’t think before she spoke. Did she consider that I could have been a woman dealing with fertility issues, I could have been unhappily pregnant, I could have been carrying an unviable pregnancy to term.
She got off easy. I was just an overweight, full-time college student who would spent the next 3 months eating her feelings in response to this unwarranted attack.
These questions people fire off like an M-16 are personal questions. These questions come with emotional price tags, and they should go unasked.
If you don’t know people well enough to ask what sexual position is their favorite, maybe you should refrain from asking them when they are going to have children or if they are pregnant. Maybe you should just talk about the politics or religion.
#notpregnantjustfat #keepittoyourself #betterleftunasked