Once you reach a certain age in life it can become difficult to make new friends. When we moved to our current neighborhood around five years ago, my husband was able to make fast friends at a local comic and hobby shop thanks to his gaming hobby. I, on the other hand, like many of my peers, have had a tough time maintaining new relationships. I had made a few friends at work but none that have stood the test of time. Over the past year, however, I have been able to solidify my friendship with two of the gaming wives. It has been so fun to get together and blow off some steam.
Recently, we’ve instituted a monthly family night where we go to one family’s house and eat, talk, and play games while all the kids are set loose in the kids’ rooms.
December is my month, and I am surprised to say that I am nervous. Now, both families have been to my house but not all at once. They are families with multiple children with plenty of rooms to play in and in lots of room for everyone to spread out. Our house is on the smaller side, we are a family of three, and we pride ourselves in living small. We have a dining room table but it only seats four, we have two chairs and a couch in our living room. Our son has a small room loaded with toys and treasures that he can’t part with and my husband has an office full of books and collectables, leaving about two square feet to stand or sit in.
I am so afraid that everyone will be cramped in our house. I feel like I need to revamp and clean from floor to ceiling, each room of my house.
I know that I notice the surroundings in other people’s homes but I don’t make judgments about them; I always seem to bring it back to the things I feel my life is lacking. How can I get over the self-consciousness I am suffering from? I know these women, and I know they won’t judge me based on my “things,” but I can’t help but notice that the “things” I do have are fewer and not as nice as the “things” at their homes.
Will their eyes linger over the kitchen cabinets that so desperately need to be repainted? Will the dust and animal fur lurking on my baseboards catch their eyes? Will they notice that we have changed nothing since we moved in?
Why can’t I be proud enough knowing we are debt-free and happy in our home and in our lives? Why am I worried about what they think of me based on my surroundings and square footage?
How about you, does a family’s “things” and total square footage assist you in making judgments on the people they are? Do you judge people based on the things they fill their home with or the color of their grout and the thickness of the dust on their chotskies?