Tag Archives: amibeingcatty

Women’s History and Fat Tuesday

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Have you ever wondered why women use their assets to earn beads during Mardi Gras?  Well, here at AIBC we were wondering too.  Would you believe we have the Women’s Lib movement to thank?  Yeah. 

Surprising, huh?

Before you go out tonight, brush up on your Women’s History along with all of us at #AIBC and prepare to have a Happy Mardi Gras!

http://www.bustle.com/articles/17016-why-do-women-flash-their-breasts-for-beads-at-mardi-gras-a-brief-history

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AIBC Poll: Would You Do No Makeup Monday?

This morning, Today Show anchors went live without their usual bevy of beauty products in the name of normalcy. Yes. They, too, have wrinkles and age spots and dark circles under their eyes. Who knew?

no makeup

Check out their bare-faced debuts here.

Empowerment or PR stunt? You decide.

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Either way, AIBC has to give them props. It takes a strong person to face and embrace that makeup-free reflection in the mirror each morning, much less to share it with the rest of the world. Would you bare it all (from the neck up) to your co-workers? Take our poll and let us know!

Take That, Cupid!

Valentine’s Day. Every February those two words strike fear and anticipation into the hearts and wallets of people everywhere. No gender, religion or relationship status can quite get us out of the path of this heart-slinging, chocolate inhaling holiday.

Vday chocolate

There’s always been something slightly disturbing to me about a day that celebrates full-figured babies shooting arrows at people, but it’s been a love-hate situation with me and V-day since the beginning.

High school was all about cutesy love notes and “perfect” gifts. Hold your reflux. In college, I embraced the suck of single lady-hood and threw monster anti-Valentine’s Day parties that made even the happily coupled want to slap each other and call things off. Yep. That was me. Married life turned the day to nothing except a flashback pity party. Boo-hoo. Hence, my new incarnation as a soon-to-be divorcee staring down today with a double dare in my eye.

vday watching

I refuse to be that bitter break-up victim today.

We all have our issues with Valentine’s Day past, present and future. It’s a day that makes you look at your life from a very uncomfortable angle. Who am I in relation to those I love? What is love to me? Am I loved or loving? If I don’t have romantic love now, will I ever?

vday snap

You know your answers. I know mine, as uncertain and disturbingly honest as they are.

Today, I choose love. I sign my name to a couple of  heart-shaped cards and tape them to cartoon character embossed boxes of chocolates knowing that I’m closer to true love than ever before in my life. This is what it feels like to love without boundaries and without a thought to the consequences of opening my heart so completely to two mini-mes. It may not be the type of love that half-naked cherub was aiming for when he shot, but the effects are permanent.

vday target

I remind myself that I don’t need to be part of a couple to know real love. If that opportunity ever does cross my path again (not probable, but possible), this is my gauge. Those arms that almost squeeze the breath out of me when little voices wish me “Happy Valentine’s Day” today will measure what “twue wuv” can be in my future. God help the hypothetical person who walks into that competition if he exists. This feeling  is a lot to live up to.

It’s enough to celebrate the whole year. Especially with chocolate.

Much love to you all,

Melanie

When in Doubt, Say It With E-love

It’s the dreaded day of days. The arrows are sharpened, so we hope you wore your Kevlar.

Valentine’s Day is an equal opportunity hassle for guys and gals, single or attached. Whether or not you truly feel it, society says today is the day to tell the people in your world how much you love them.

And if you haven’t made it to the local pharmacy for a card to say what you’d prefer not to, we have the perfect e-cards to help you make nice (or not.) 

Singles just getting into the game should be subtle.

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And smooth.

vday fine

And honest.

vday buns

And open to more commitment.

vday cellmate

For those dealing with some heartbreak, this is a favorite.

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Or this.

vday box

Perhaps make it official?

vday divorce

Maybe just an affirmation?

vday std

Long-time lovers and married couples should love this.

vday sloth

Or this.

vday ron

Maybe a heartfelt sentiment?

vday patience

Or a piece of your mind?

vday zombie

Whatever you choose, deliver these with care. That Cupid kid can be a real pain-in-the-butt.

Happy Valentine’s Day from the AIBC team!

Who’s Faking?

AIBC would like to apologize to our readers. After the Super Bowl halftime show, we had a bit of an afterglow (if you know what we mean) when we posted our response on FB. It looked something like this:

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But we were reeling over the Red Hot Chili Peppers, too. How was it possible that these guys, whom many of us have drooled over since we were tweens, could still possibly be this hot and musically satisfying as grandpas?

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Thanks to Flea, now we know. The band was Milli Vanilli-ing it…or Ashley Simpson-ing it if you’re not a child of the 80s. Anthony Kiedis was really singing. His band mates just weren’t actually plugged into the amps. They were really jamming out up there, but what we heard was pre-recorded.

Here’s the Time write-up on the debacle.

RHCP’s defense? The NFL made them do it just in case something went wrong with the sound.

Our response? We feel like the guy that finds out she was faking it all along. How could they? It was a fun ride though. And we didn’t even know it wasn’t real in the midst of the swoon.

A part of us is just astounded that these guys could pull off a fake so well. Maybe they learned that from some of those groupies over the years or from watching the first half of that football game.

Anyways…Is it forgivable? Time will tell. We bet RHCP still has some ‘splainin’ to do to their fans out there. Don’t forget the flowers and chocolates to go with that apology.

Here at AIBC, it could take us some time to accept. Be patient. It could happen.

But in the meantime, we will be sure to remember that NFL excuse the next time were caught faking. It seems really legit. Don’t you think?

Fear and Self-Loathing in Hollywood

It was not that long ago that AIBC commented on the prevalence of internet fat-shaming of Hollywood stars and their response to the negative remarks. Now it looks like we need to call out those stars for a minute.

This week, Gwen Stefani has taken a lot of heat for the pic she tweeted of herself getting an autograph from Sting in 1983 thanks to her own comments about her “chunky” figure in the frame.

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Here’s the full Yahoo Shine article on the aftermath and other celebs who’ve dissed themselves online. The problem? Only an anorexic person would call the girl in that photo fat. Average? Yeah. Chunky? Not so much. Pleated khakis aren’t flattering to anyone.

While it is endearing to realize that even seemingly perfect people can empathize with body image issues, Stefani’s public display of self-depreciation has us wondering what kind of message this sends to young ladies just coming into their own about their bodies.

Hint, hint: Barbie is a myth. You’re beautiful as is.

Hey, Ladies! Don’t Be a Super Bowl Killjoy

Admit it, girls: no one of us is perfect. Don’t worry. The guys aren’t listening, and we’ll never admit you said it later in the interest of blogger/reader confidentiality. This morning we posted a timely tidbit you may have passed on to your significant other about being a gent on gameday. In the interest of fairness, AIBC now offers you the female version of said list.

Yes. This is completely necessary. If you plan to sit in on any Super Bowl festivities when the horn blows tomorrow, be sure to read this first.

1.) Don’t be that girl.

football widow

This is the most important game of the year. The spread is perfect. The friends are gathered. This isn’t the time to suddenly get the urge to talk relationship b.s. (or pretty much anything that doesn’t relate to the game, commercials, halftime show or party). Save it until after the game if you’re feeling insecure about him paying more attention to the TV or his pals today. Football season is over tomorrow anyway. Save the drama for mañana .

2.) Don’t assume. Not every other female at the party is there to talk about daycare and eat cheese dip. Some ladies really do like football without any male influence whatsoever.

football girls

This rule also applies vice versa if you are the football chick in the crowd. If it’s clear the female you sit on the couch next to is more interested in whether Flea will be wearing only a sock at halftime, don’t bother mentioning that wide receiver’s numbers for the year. Just offer her a frosty beverage and smile.

3.) This is not your gym or a Weight Watchers meeting. Unless someone specifically asks you how many calories are in that cheeseburger or is wagering on the number of sit-ups it would take to burn off those chips, keep it to yourself. Not everyone in the room made a New Year’s resolution to go Vegan or lose twenty pounds by swimsuit season, and some of them would probably like to enjoy the party without over-analyzing the deliciousness.

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Lighten up! Just pop that pizza roll in your mouth already and indulge for a minute. You can hit the treadmill double time tomorrow or eat half as much gluten. Whatever you need to do. Just can’t let loose? Suck on that celery stick and smile proudly for keeping your willpower/higher standards without guilting everyone else. Have a pat on the back. Go, you!

4.) Stupidity is not cute.

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Ignorance of the game of football is not a crime, but using it as a reason to bat your eyelashes at someone is just stupid. Learn the difference. If you honestly don’t know much about the game, ask questions around the plays or when a willing tutor is near the food table. Save big questions for after the game, or get an overview from some knowledgeable fan before it starts. Don’t sell yourself short by playing the girl who just doesn’t get it so some person will pay attention. If that’s your only game, you need a new playbook.

5.) Treat his friends as you would treat your own. This may sound like “Good Hostess 101” stuff, but it’s a common discourtesy. Just because his buds sometimes vaguely resemble animals doesn’t mean you should treat them like dogs. Sure. They are mostly scruffier, messier and less hospitable guests than your peeps; but they’re his, and he’s yours. It’s a package deal, sweetheart. Feed them. Football them. Find a way to love them yourself. Their wolf pack mentality may just rub off on you if you actually join them. You might just find you like being the Alpha female.

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If you stick to these rules, you’re sure to have a catty-free Super Bowl Sunday this year. Game on, and may the best team win!

Melanie