Tag Archives: #bodyimage

AIBC Poll: Would You Do No Makeup Monday?

This morning, Today Show anchors went live without their usual bevy of beauty products in the name of normalcy. Yes. They, too, have wrinkles and age spots and dark circles under their eyes. Who knew?

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Check out their bare-faced debuts here.

Empowerment or PR stunt? You decide.

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Either way, AIBC has to give them props. It takes a strong person to face and embrace that makeup-free reflection in the mirror each morning, much less to share it with the rest of the world. Would you bare it all (from the neck up) to your co-workers? Take our poll and let us know!

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Fear and Self-Loathing in Hollywood

It was not that long ago that AIBC commented on the prevalence of internet fat-shaming of Hollywood stars and their response to the negative remarks. Now it looks like we need to call out those stars for a minute.

This week, Gwen Stefani has taken a lot of heat for the pic she tweeted of herself getting an autograph from Sting in 1983 thanks to her own comments about her “chunky” figure in the frame.

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Here’s the full Yahoo Shine article on the aftermath and other celebs who’ve dissed themselves online. The problem? Only an anorexic person would call the girl in that photo fat. Average? Yeah. Chunky? Not so much. Pleated khakis aren’t flattering to anyone.

While it is endearing to realize that even seemingly perfect people can empathize with body image issues, Stefani’s public display of self-depreciation has us wondering what kind of message this sends to young ladies just coming into their own about their bodies.

Hint, hint: Barbie is a myth. You’re beautiful as is.

She’s “The Boss.”

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On Christmas Day Alyssa Milano showed us all how to handle the people in our lives when they feel it’s ok to publicly shame us.  She sent out a tweet to Jay Mohr in response to him fat shaming her on his podcast; she kept it short, sweet, and classy.

Mohr’s podcast came just a few days after he and Milano hosted a Nascar event together.  He discussed how shocked he was at her appearance.  He said, “She’s very tiny in height. … It seems like she had had a baby and said, ‘I don’t really give a s—, I read it on her gut. … Somebody sat in the director’s chair was not wearing Spanx and I was like ‘Jesus Christ!'”

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The day after his podcast aired, he was called out by Perez Hilton on Twitter.  This is when he claimed that his comments were just a joke that obviously failed.

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It took Mohr 18 days to apologize; he took to his blog to address his inappropriate blurb on Milano that he is now calling a misguided joke:

“I know full well how much words can hurt people, having seen my wife get destroyed by the tabloids, and I am embarrassed that I didn’t think before I spoke.  Sometimes comedians go too far. I went too far. I cannot change what I said, but I can assure you that my heart is broken that I hurt her. I am very sorry. With the utmost sincerity, Jay Mohr.”

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I was surprised that I hadn’t heard more about this on the internet in the past few days, with past events like the Joan Rivers & Jennifer Lawrence twitter feud blew up in a few short hours.  Maybe the holidays are to blame, but it has finally hit the news cycle.  finaltweet

As this recent faux pas proves, 2013 was not short of cattiness or shameful behavior (be sure to peep out our list of the Best/Worst Catty moments of the 2013) but, with class acts like Alyssa Milano and Jennifer Lawrence, 2014 is sure to be a year of kindness.

While you may think that the jab about your co-worker’s expanding waistline is harmless since she isn’t around, remember that words travel fastest amongst “friends.”  And if you happen to find yourself on the receiving end of someone’s double-edged sword, take a deep breath and think of Samantha and Katniss.  You can either take the high road or tag them with your cross bow.

– NinjaKitty

#takethehighroad  #keepingitclassy  #ivoteforcrossbow

Your skinny friend

When you talk about your weight issues with me, I shut up and listen. When you lament your pudgy belly or big thighs, I shut up and listen. When you ask me if I have any advice to lose weight, eat better, exercise, I’ll give you my opinion on what works for me. 

Hi, I’m your skinny friend, who’s not really skinny by my standards.

I’m the size 2, fitness fanatic that can’t help herself around cupcakes and the bowl of chips at the Mexican restaurant we go to for happy hour. I’m the friend that doesn’t mind walking around naked on our girls’ weekend. I’m the friend who needs wardrobe advice when I’m deciding on the dress I wore in college or if I should just buy a new one.

I’m the friend you’d love to hate if you weren’t my friend.

One of the most common bonding conversations we women have is discussing our weight issues, whether it’s self-deprecating humor or never-ending frustration. When I’m with friends and they start to discuss weight issues, I just shut up. I don’t complain about my muffin top, love handles or pudgy belly. I’ve learned that if I interject any of my body issues or weight frustrations, I get rolling eyes and the occasional friendly “skinny bitch” comment.

I don’t have much to provide in these conversations. I’ve never been overweight, so I can’t have the “I’ve been there. I know!” viewpoint. Any contributions I make in this discussion will be taken as either “rub your nose in it” or “I don’t know how good I have it.” No one wants to hear what I had to do to lose my baby weight or how I feel too self-conscious of my body to run in a sports bra when it’s 105 degrees outside.

When I order a salad, it’s because I like salad. Don’t roll your eyes and tell me I don’t need to be on a diet. When I weigh myself at the gym, it’s not because I’m obsessed with my weight. When I do slip and complain about a part of my body, I’m not trying to make you feel bad or garner compliments.

The truth is I do still have a pudgy belly and a big ole C-section scar. I also have a big ugly scar down my back. And I have small breasts. So small, a sales associate at Victoria’s Secret recommended I look online for a AA-cup bra because they don’t sell them in the store. No thanks. I’ll take the B with double padding, thank you very much.

One of the issues I think women have when discussing body issues with each other is we read too much into what people say. We overanalyze, and we interpret comments differently because of our insecurities and our own life experiences.

To help translate, here are a few phrases that skinny people may say:

What they say: I hate my thighs.
What people hear: If I hate my thighs, you must really, really hate your thighs because they’re huge! How do you even live with yourself?
What they mean: I wish my thighs were a little smaller/more toned/less flabby.

What they say: Can I get a salad?
What people hear: I’m on a diet because I need to lose more weight. What? You’re getting a hamburger? You should get a salad. I’m secretly judging you.
What they mean: I like salad/I need to eat healthy because I have high cholesterol/I’m a vegetarian/I’m cheap, and it’s the only entrée under $10.

What they say: I can’t seem to gain weight, no matter what I eat.
What people hear: I can eat anything I want, and I’m still a size 0. It must suck to be you and count calories of every stick of gum you put in your mouth.
What they mean: I look like an 8-year-old boy. I have no boobs, and I wish I could have your curves.

What they say: I run about three times a week.
What people hear: It takes a lot of work to look this good. You should get off the couch and try it.
What they mean: I have to exercise regularly because it makes me feel good and keeps me healthy. If I didn’t run, I probably would have a muffin top Sara Lee would be proud of, go PMS-psycho and spend way too much time creating Pinfails of all those crafts and recipes I’ve saved.

What they say: You want to borrow my skirt?
What people hear: Do you want to try on my size 4 skirt? It might be fun for me to watch you squeeze into it, or you can just admit that I’m way smaller than you.
What they mean: You may be a size or two bigger than me, but you should be able to wear it, and I think it would look cute on you.

Now, if you mean to say what people hear, then you are a catty, skinny-ass bitch. Eat a donut and shut up. I’m the first to admit that there are skinny women in the world who love to flaunt their perfect bodies in front of people who struggle with their weight. It makes them feel better about themselves, either because other aspects of their lives are a disappointment or it may be the one part of their lives they can control.

We all have issues. Just some are more noticeable than others, whether we wear it on our sleeve (or hips) or it’s something more hidden. I’m not sure which is better.

So, to all my curvy friends, I don’t mind when you call me a skinny-ass bitch, as long as you smile sincerely while doing it and give me a hug into your big bosom. I won’t call you catty at all, but know that when I confide my body issues to you, it’s because you’re my friend and I also need a listening ear, too.

And when you’re carrying on about your big butt and your skinny friend starts moaning about the cellulite on her thighs, you have my permission to roll your eyes and then offer advice on a cellulite cream. Because even skinny girls need love, too.

Liz
#skinnybitch #imokyoureok

Not just a pretty face.

I am sure we all have a catty pet-peeve.  For some of us it is gossip, for others it is a fake friend (a frenemy, if you will).  For me it is the back handed compliment.  Specifically the “but you have such a pretty face” compliment.

Let me give you a rundown of how this conversation usually happens:

Me: I say anything about being fat.

Random Person: “But you have such a pretty face.”

Me:giphy

Please don’t misunderstand…I know my face is pretty and I appreciate that you also agree.  I am glad that you gaze upon my face and find it pleasing.  However, to say “but you have such a pretty face…”  gives the impression that you think that is my ONLY redeeming physical quality.

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To say “but you have such a pretty face” also implies that I should feel lucky that I have a face that is nice to look at since the rest of me is not so cute.  Imagine for a moment how that feels.

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I get it.  I’m not thin, skinny or athletic.  I am fat.  It’s ok to say it.  Literally I have more fat on my body than is necessary for my survival.  But my fat body and pretty face are not mutually exclusive.  It is in fact entirely possible to be fat AND gorgeous.  It is also possible to be fat and not disgusting.  Here is some proof.

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So for those friends, relatives, co-workers and random folks who are dishing out this (back handed) compliment to your fatty friends.  Knock it the hell off.  Consider this your public service announcement. So get out there and stop being catty bitches.

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Lots of love,

Ashley

AIBC Team member

#butyouhavesuchaprettyface #fatgirlproblems

#frenemy #level3catty