Monthly Archives: December 2013

The Best/Worst Catty Moments of 2013

This year has seen its share of cattiness in the world  from the entertainment industry to the United States government  and everything in between. Together with the help of the AIBC team, I have put together a list of some of the most publicized catty moments of 2013.

12. Amanda Bynes  vs. everyone in Hollywood – After making drastic changes to her appearance, several arrests for DUI and marijuana possession, and acting peculiar in public, the former child star took to twitter to make insults. She took aim at the likes of stars such as Miley Cyrus, Cher, Drake, RuPaul, Perez Hilton, Lance Bass, Jenny McCarthy, Rihanna, Chrissy Thiegen, Courtney Love and Jay-Z…. even the President and first lady could not be spared. And what was her favorite insult? I guess when you are grasping for an insult, the proverbial, “You’re ugly” will work in a pinch! Hmmm? I guess people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones?

11. Emmy Rossum mocks Gisele Bundchen breastfeeding– Even if you are a huge advocate for breastfeeding….this is well, just funny! The outspoken supermodel, Budchen,  has made some judgmental comments regarding breastfeeding and even taken to posting pics of her multitasking….and it led to an opportunity for a witty mockery of sorts by actress Emmy Rossum. If you can’t beat ’em, join em?
gisele2

10. Reese Witherspoon takes on the law– She fought the law and the law won! Hollywood’s sweetheart showed her tail after having one too many with her husband and being stopped by state troopers in Georgia. As her husband was being administered a field sobriety test, Ms. Witherspoon turned a bit belligerent and challenged the GA state trooper. After several warnings, she was issued a disorderly conduct citation, but not before she  informed him “…You’re about to find out who I am.” I am quite certain he neither cared who she was then and is even far less impressed now! Lesson #1: Even her best June Carter Cash rendition couldn’t have saved her from her own arrogance. Lesson #2: Don’t fight the law unless you ARE the law!

9. Paula Deen vs. Oprah – After being accused of racial slurs and admitting in a court deposition to using them in the past, Ms. Deen saw her once booming food empire crumbling before her eyes by losing her Food Network show and endorsement deals. While Oprah and Deen have been friends for years and have even spent the night at each other’s homes, Oprah responded when asked in an interview about Deen, “Oh my God! I don’t have anything to do with Paula Deen. She is not the first white lady to use the N-word! Good Lord!” Even Oprah can’t help you now, Sugar! You need to stick to talking about “Buttah!”

8. Kanye West feuds with Jimmy Kimmel– After Kimmel ran a video spoof of West’s bizarre BBC interview on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, West blasted Kimmel in a series of twitter rants that cussed Kimmel saying among other things that Kimmel was a “manipulative media motherf-.” In true Kimmel fashion, the funnyman was able to keep a sense of humor about it all and boasted, “Finally, I’m in a rap feud. I always wanted to be in a rap feud.”

7. Kim Kardashian takes on Katie Couric– The reality star and news anchor had a war of words and hashtags via media outlets after Couric questioned why the Kardashian family was so famous in a magazine interview. Kardashian immediately took to Instagram and Twitter with a photo of the baby gift Couric had sent her along with hashtags “#IHateFakeMediaFriends, #MayIHumblySuggestYouNotSendGiftsThenTalkShit.” I guess Katie learned you just don’t mess with Kimmy!!!

6. Toronto Mayor Rob Ford takes on “the rock”– I guess the Canadian government does things a little differently by the looks of videos and photos that surfaced of the Toronto mayor, Rob Ford, smoking crack cocaine.  Ford admitted to smoking the drug “about a year ago in one of my drunken stupors” after months of denying the allegations. Crack is wack, Mayor Ford. Crack is wack!

5. Duck Dynasty insult debacle– Regardless of your stance on what the patriarch of this multi-million dollar “reality show” show shared in a GQ magazine interview, the real catty behavior came into play when the executives of A&E suspended Mr. Robertson indefinitely and then took it back. Oops…what ever happened to “No Takesy Backsies?” I am still scratching my head over this entire situation , but it is no surprise that the executives at A&E decided to “sell their souls to the devil” in order to make the almighty dollar.

4. Miley Cyrus twerks on Sinead’s Nerves – The former Disney star  grinded  twerked on Robin Thicke at the VMAs…leaving everyone who viewed the fiasco wanting a cigarette and a shower. The cattiness began when Sinead O’Connor wrote an open letter to Miley warning her of her oversexualized image. Miley then slammed O’Connor via twitter by making a mockery of her previous mental illness. You can read what our very own Nyx had to say about this cat-astrophy here.

3. Edward Snowden vs the NSA– There is a rat in the spy world and his name is Edward Snowden. The former NSA employee leaked privileged spy program information that had Americans and countries all over the world going nuts over privacy concerns. Not only did Snowden swipe documents about the surveillance programs, he was clever enough to know the consequences of his actions would mean prison and thus fled the U.S. seeking exile in first Cuba, then Russia. He was granted asylum by Russia in August. Tsk. Tsk. President Putin, if you are reading this, I hope you enjoy your new spy guy!

2. Pope Francis vs. the traditional Papacy– After Pope Benedict XVI resigned, the first South American and first of the Jesuit order, Pope Francis was elected to replace him. He has struck the world as “different” with a sharp focus on the poor and being less judgmental toward gays and those who’ve had abortions. He has also been outspoken about fixing the scandal-ridden Vatican Bank, connecting to other faiths, and pushing to reform the church into a more welcoming, less rule-bound institution. It seems he will continue his efforts to be a little different than previous popes and I give him a thumbs up!

1. U.S. Government Shutdown vs. the American Public – 16 days of hell was the result of the stand-off between House Republicans and Democrats after failing to pass a bill that would fund the Federal Government. Eventually a bi-partisan agreement was made, but not before the American public saw the likes of federal employment furloughs and national parks closures. PS, U.S. Congressmen, you collectively win the catty bitch of the year award!! I give you two fingers! ( I hope you read sign language.)

Are there any noteworthy catty moments we missed? Let us hear from you.

-Krissi, AIBC Team Member

#amibeingcatty #bestof2013 #yearinreview #worstof2013

What You to Need to Know Before Returning That Gift

I have a dilemma. A friend gave me a great pair of rain boots this Christmas. They’re beautiful. The only problem is that I already have an awesome pair of rain boots. And I don’t live in Seattle. There is really no need for me to have two pairs of rain boots.

Now, when I opened this gift up, she thought I wouldn’t like them because they’re rain boots. She offered the gift receipt and even mentioned just giving them away. Absolutely not! If anything, I’d like to return them for some other type of shoe, but do I risk offending her by asking for the receipt?

These types of situations give me anxiety attacks.

When my husband bought me a beautiful leather messenger bag several years ago, I declared it was almost perfect. I really needed a large commuter bag, so I asked if I could return it for a different style. I thought we had the type of relationship that I could return his gifts. Uhh, apparently not.  I had no idea how upset he would get! Now I know  he’s a little sensitive about me returning gifts.

Thinking on these two situations, I’ve come up with a few tips on the “when, how, why and ifs” on returning gifts. Being the day after Christmas, I thought this very appropriate.

1. If you’re thinking about returning a gift, make a decision soon. Don’t wait  three months and then decide to return it. You’ll likely need the receipt that the gifter has long thrown away. Asking at this point would be highly tacky. It also shows that you haven’t thought about the gift for quite some time, which has probably sat in a box in your guest closet gathering dust.

2. If it’s just not your cup of tea and returning the gift is not an option, refer to “Regifting Dos and Don’ts.”

3. Every gift is unique, just like every occasion and every gifter. Take these into account when deciding on whether to return a gift. I try to always leave a gift receipt in the bag and make sure that the recipient knows that it’s perfectly OK to return it. If someone purchased you a handmade scarf from Guatemala and points out that it’s a combination of your two favorite colors … and reminds that person of the time you two sat outside a book store for four hours waiting for your favorite author and shared a scarf because they were so cold and ill prepared … it’s not returnable.

beer gift

4. If it’s from a department store and could have been a gift for a coworker,  their Aunt Mary or whoever, I think it’s OK to return.

5. If it’s from Bath and Body Works, it’s OK to return.

6. If it’s an appliance, something to clean your house with, or helps you to lose weight, it’s OK to return. (If that’s your thing, though – rejoice! They know  you well!)

aria wi-fi

Aria Wi-Fi Smart Scale … cool, yes, but it’s still a scale.

7. If it’s a donation to their favorite charity, you can’t return it, but you can let them know that you’ll be making a donation to your favorite charity for their birthday — be it your alma mater or a non-profit they may not be familiar with (or even one that doesn’t quite align with their social beliefs).

8. If it’s clothing and it doesn’t fit, ask the gifter if you can return it for a different size. I think they would be delighted to know that you loved their gift so much, you want it to fit perfectly.

9. If it’s clothing and it’s not quite to your taste, refer to #3. If they picked your favorite store, but you’d rather have something else, I would try to exchange it for something different. If it’s a store you’re not a huge fan of … maybe you’re more of a Coldwater Creek gal that Hot Topic, refer to #2. (Or better yet, exchange for store credit and regift the “gift card”!)

exchange-gift

10. Always tell them thank you, no matter what the gift.

Hope this helps! Being the day after Christmas, let the exchanging and returns begin!

Don’t Be a Grinch: 12 Helpful Tips To Help you Enjoy the Holidays

grichy

Does the hustle and bustle of the holiday season make you contemplate being a Grinch? You may even be secretly wishing ill-will on all of those individuals who put a rush on the holiday festivus before the jack-o-lanterns were put away.  Like it or not the holiday season is upon us. There still may be hope for you (and me) to regain that holiday spirit, find some joy and shed those holiday blues.

Here are a few tips to help you fight the Grinch inside and enjoy the best this holiday has to offer:

  1. Believe Again– That’s right. Embrace your inner child. Close your eyes and think of the best holiday that you can imagine. Let the nostalgia set in and try to re-create that time.
  2. Smile– Smiling is my favorite! It certainly is contagious and while you may have lots of stress and to-dos,  make eye contact and smile at everyone you see…even that pesky co-worker or neighbor that you do not particularly like.
  3. Decorate a tree-It doesn’t take a lot of money to pull this one off. Even if you have to go cut down the ugliest Charlie Brown Christmas tree (preferably not from your neighbor’s yard), do so. String some popcorn, make some home-made ornaments, turn on some Christmas tunes, and rock around the Christmas tree.
  4. Visit Santa– Santa IS real to those who believe. Go put on your best tacky Christmas sweater and gather your friends and/or family members, take a seat on the jolly old elf’s lap and take advantage of a great photo op. (Be careful, you may have just found a new holiday tradition.) kids with santa
  5. Resurrect those wacky family traditions– You found them to be normal as a kid but realized as you matured that they weren’t exactly “normal.” Buy/Make your family matching holiday attire (even if your family consists of your two cats/dogs/guinea pigs), play candy land, watch your favorite holiday movie, find the hidden pickle in the tree, or hang bagels on your tree (for the half Christian/half Jewish families). Whatever your family traditions may be, pick one and enjoy the memories it brings. spending the holidays with 1d gif
  6. Indulge in some sugary goodness– Tis the season for candy canes, hot cocoa, and fresh baked cookies. You may not have the metabolism of an 8 year old any longer but do yourself a favor, let out your waistband and enjoy the sweet yumminess.  When in doubt just add sugar and syrup!!
  7. Let your voice be heard– Go carolling or crank up the holiday music on your way home from work and SING at the top of your lungs! So what if people think you are nuts if you carol by yourself or you are caught at a red light doing your best Mariah Carey impression. Just remember the words of  Buddy the Elf, “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.”
  8. Get outside and enjoy the elements – Make snow angels or build a snowman. If you happen to live in the South where the temps vary between 20 degrees and a smoldering 80 degrees in December, put on your Santa hat along with your swim suit and do a cannon ball into the neighbor’s pool.
  9. Enjoy some libations– Put on your best dickie turtleneck a la Cousin Eddie and kick it old school with some homemade eggnog. If you are not into eggnog, make a new holiday beverage your bitch for the night! Cheers! cousin eddie
  10. Spread Goodwill– Do good deeds for others and you will surely feel the reward of spreading joy and hopefully gain some for yourself in the process. Pass along a compliment, carry someone’s goceries to their car or buy a stranger a cup of coffee.
  11. Kidnap a Kid– Not literally, but this one is for those without children. Borrow a friend’s child for the day. Take them to see Santa, decorate cookies, make a gingerbread house, or go shop for their Mom and Dad’s presents. Just witnessing the excitement through the eyes of a child may help you set the mood for the season. (PS, this will also knock out #8)grinch
  12. Be Self-Indulgent– That’s right. You have already spread goodwill by doing a good deed for others. Now, go buy yourself a gift and open it on Christmas morning like a wild animal. Bring back an old favorite toy or those toe socks that Auntie Cassie sent you every year until you were twenty! opening gift

Try a few of these tips and let your inner-child shine this holiday season. And maybe, just maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas means a little bit more!

Happy Holidays!

-Krissi

Etiquette as a weapon? Tsk Tsk

When I took an etiquette class in college, I was coming from zero knowledge. Nothing broke me out into hives more than too many forks and a bowl of water on my plate.

etiquette-table-setting

Luckily a few well-meaning friends and that etiquette class helped me to be more confident at fancy dinners, cocktail parties and professional events. One lesson was to leave enough room on your plate to balance your glass in case you need a free hand. Let’s just say this was a practiced skill for me. It was definitely not my forte.

etiquette

Another important lesson, ladies: Don’t sit like a bored man.

Another lesson I learned was if you didn’t know what to do, follow everyone else’s lead. This is also good advice at a hoe-down, a cultural event you’re not familiar with, or at Comic-Con.

And when that doesn’t work, just shrug and ask, “What do you want me to do with this hot cloth? Wipe off the honey glaze I just dipped my sleeve in?” An ignorance-claiming question along with a sly smile and Southern drawl will get you far in life.

Something else that resonated with me in class was the fact that etiquette is not meant to make one feel uncomfortable. This was definitely news to me, but I quickly learned it’s not meant to be used as a weapon of cattiness or snobbery. The purpose of having shared etiquette is not to make someone’s meal less enjoyable or make them feel inadequate. If you use etiquette this way, shame on you.

You get an F, and I will not be joining your Christmas holiday fete a la tacky sweater awkwardness.

Lesson One: The host should make their guest feel comfortable and at ease regardless.

Remember that scene in Pretty Woman? The one where they meet for a business dinner and she’s being beautiful and charming—then she looks down, sees escargot and completely does a mind blank? She attempts to follow her host’s lead and ends up almost taking someone’s eye out.

It’s only after the older man across from her makes a comment about not knowing what to do with the forks that she is put instantly at ease and they enjoy their meal – until Richard Gere states he’s about to dismantle the other guys’ family business like a suburban garage sale, but whatever.  Point made.

And when you’re hosting that fancy dinner or holiday party: Expect things to go wrong.

Things will get spilled. Things will break. Things will burn. Guests will be late. Your house will not be clean enough. Your hidden junk drawer will be discovered. Your husband will get a little too tipsy on the holiday egg nog and decide it’s too hot to wear his reindeer sweater…but not too hot to don the decorative Santa hat all night. It’s OK.

The key to remember is to enjoy each other’s company. Even if you accidently eat off the charger plate or your guest requests that her red wine be chilled, graciously smile and wish each other a merry Christmas. Besides, after the third glass of wine, the shoes come off and etiquette takes a holiday anyway.

With the utmost respect and sincerity,

Catty Liz

#fakeittilyoumakeit
#etiquettewar
#prettywomendonteatsnailsanyway

The Do’s and Dont’s of December Birthdays

As a long time member of the “Holiday Birthday Club,” I thought I would share my list of what-not-to-do when trying to show those December babies that you care.  Think of this as sort of my Christmas gift to you.

First off, DO get a birthday gift for those friends or family members who will be celebrating a birthday close to Christmas if that is what you would do for birthdays that fall any other time of the year. This is especially important if their special day actually falls on the 24th or 25th. Assuming that the receiver will get plenty of presents, or even combining birthday/Hanukkah/Christmas gifts together is something you DO NOT ever want to do.  No ornaments, Christmas sweatshirts, or snow globes allowed, especially when the gift receiver is a child. Kids keep score, and they will always remember that one time you cut corners for their special day.

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Wine glasses = good. Opt for a whole set of non-decorated ones in addition to the fun one for the guest of honor to drink from during the party.

The next step in celebrating those holiday-time birthdays is to always wrap their Birthday gifts! But DO NOT use Christmas paper to do so.  It’s lazy, a shortcut, and it may seem trivial to you, but makes the birthday seem “less than” to the birthday boy or girl.  And again, when children are involved, other kids at the party will likely get upset that they aren’t getting Christmas presents too.

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And while we are talking about gifts, DO feel free to display gifts before (or during) a birthday party, but DO NOT EVER place them under the Christmas tree. No. No. No. This is not okay.

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There are also birthday cards to consider. If you would normally send cards for a friend or family member’s birthday, absolutely DO send a card to those celebrating December birthdays. Just DO NOT send this card inside of the Christmas card you were also planning to send. And DO NOT choose a birthday card with a Christmas scene on it.

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Finally, there are birthday cakes to think about. Everyone loves cake, so when in doubt you DO want to have cake at a birthday party during the holidays.  Just make absolutely sure you stress to the cake-baker that you DO NOT want a single tree or holly berry anywhere near the cake itself.  It is a sugary birthday abomination.

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When in doubt, just treat a holiday birthday like anyone else’s birthday.  It’s not fair to let the hoilday overshadow the birthday celebration.  Recognize the individual.  Make great memories.  That’s really all anyone can ask for.

Happy Birthday first – happy all-the-other-holidays second.

zenkitty2
#amibeingcatty
#itsmybirthday

What NOT To Do At the Office Holiday Party

Employee or Plus 1:
Avoid these party faux pas at all costs!

Although you may think it is high-time you let loose and celebrate a much deserved year end party, you will want to keep in mind it is still a business function. As an employee, don’t risk your professional reputation by leaving a bad impression with one night of inadvertent blunders.  Every year these parties happen and every year there is that person (or three) that is talked about relentlessly after the event.  We feel these rules should be common sense, but sometimes sense isn’t so. . . common.

Whether you are the EMPLOYEE or the PLUS 1, keep in mind company parties are strictly business.  Even though they are intended to be social gatherings to reward employees and raise morale, your behavior is being observed every minute. Here are your top nine holiday tips on how not to become that Monday Morning Water Cooler Topic.

1. DON’T TAKE FASHION RISKS:
EMPLOYEE:  Well, hell.  Start with reading the email or paper invite to the event to determine a dress code.  Nothing there?  Well, ask a coworker.  Still no clue?  Go the safe route and wear a suit/conservative cocktail dress.  Make sure to iron that shit.  Make sure it fits well.  When you realize that you aren’t the person people are looking at like they’re crazy, then you’ll breathe a sigh of relief for taking the safe route.  Trust me.  You’d much rather be the one that slightly overdressed than the one whose navel could be seen from the cleavage dip.  But let me reiterate, check the invite.   Wearing a suit is the easiest way for coworkers to make fun of you for the next 12 months if the party is at a paintball facility.
PLUS 1:  Take cues from your spouse/bf/gf/fiancé/whoever.  Inquire about the attire.  Leave the bedazzler kit, thigh-high glitter boots, low-plunging cocktail dress and the remainder of your nightclub attire in your closet.  Less is always more when talking about accessories but never in regards to hemlines or necklines.   If the first time that boyfriend/girlfriend sees you for the night and it’s too late to change from the too tight see-through red lace spandex you’re wearing then there is a fireball’s chance in hell your relationship may fail.

Able to rock it or not, save this fashion for the bedroom, please.

2. DON’T BE AWKWARD:
EMPLOYEE:  Some people really struggle with those out of work bounds engagements.  If you’ve never participated in any Happy Hours or mid-year events, then the Holiday Party is the only time you’ve seen these people outside the confines of the office space.  You may choke up, stutter, whatever.  But you need to act normal.  Mingle with people from other departments.  Maintain the professional gloss, but drop the solemnity and work the charm.  These are the same people you deal with less awkwardly on a daily basis, so just be yourself and not some party caricature of who you think you should be at a social event.
PLUS 1:   You don’t know these people from Adam (unless you met him at last year’s party), so put on a smile and encourage your partner to relax.  Once again, go the safe route.  Laugh at jokes, chill, and have fun.  The more you act normally the more your date will start to relax around the people he/she may have to fire (or may get fired by) tomorrow.

Woooo Hooo! Partaaaaaay!

3.  (DON’T) SEIZE THE DAY:
EMPLOYEE:  Do not do your elevator speech at any point during the evening.  Not over the shrimp cocktails, not on the dance floor, and certainly not in the toilets.  Your leaders have their guards down and want to enjoy this event, too.  How would you feel if you had to be on point around them the whole evening?  Just don’t do it.  It’s the bad timing to pitch your genius corporate strategies, and you’ll be noted as someone who doesn’t respect those boundaries.
PLUS 1: It is your job to support your loved one during this event.  Don’t humiliate them.  They know the company culture, so follow their lead.  Small company and boss is offering shots?  Then have a little fun.  Huge corporate event and your friend/spouse/whatever has never even laid eyes on the CEO in the flesh?  Shut your trap, be a prude, and flash that charming smile.

Trust me. They’ll resent it.

4. WATCH WHAT YOU EAT:
EMPLOYEE:  No, I’m not telling you that you need to lose weight; I’m simply telling you not to circle the buffet like a ravenous wild animal that’s never been fed.  If food is rolling off of your plate from the buffet, it will appear to others you have grave fears that the food won’t last long enough for you to make a second trip.  Chew with your mouth shut and pretend you have a little class, please.
PLUS 1:  Employee rules also apply to you, but also don’t shove food in your coat pockets or purse like you’re a squirrel storing up for a long winter.  Even if there are hundreds of apples and you know they’ll be thrown out after the evening just grab an apple from the grocery store later.  You don’t want to be that date that treated this holiday party as a free ride.  It is all you can eat event, not all you can fit in your purse/pockets.

Sooooo good.

5. KNOW YOUR DANCABILITY:
EMPLOYEE:  There is nothing funnier to me than staying sober and watching a bunch of people that don’t know how to dance dance.  There is some viral video material at every single holiday affair.  Dear God.  If you really believe you can dance then pick a favorite song, crank it up, and dance your heart out while video taping it.  Now watch it.  Are you crying because it’s good or because it’s bad?  If good, then get out there and show those people how to do it.  If bad, then please stay off the dance floor.  Lastly, leave the dirty dancing for another party.  You’ll thank me for this gem, too.
PLUS 1:  Ditto Employee Rules.  Leave your “So You Think You Can Dance” audition material at home and go ahead and scratch your award winning “running man”, too.  If you can’t dance, then don’t.   If you can dance and it’s too flashy then you still look like a show-off and a moron.  The end.

Seriously. We all know how this show ended.

6. DON’T DITCH YOUR +1:
EMPLOYEE:  It is never easy to include your date in work conversation since they most likely know nothing about the topic or the people being discussed.  So the simple solution is just don’t do it.  Don’t make your date feel isolated while you chat with people.  More importantly, don’t ditch them to dance/talk/drink/eat with other people.  It’s a self-centered and crappy thing to do.  If you think I’m wrong then do it anyway and see what kind of mood your date is in after an hour of your being AWOL.  Finally, don’t you DARE ditch your date for another romantic interest.  Some serious loss of karma points will occur.  Mark my words.
PLUS 1:  Don’t clam up and refuse to engage people.  Even if this is outside of your comfort zone, try to be pleasant and interested in the people you meet.  If you freeze up like a tranquilized animal it will make it difficult for your date to include you.  There is an awkward silence that occurs after your third (or so) one-word response, and things will surely wane from there.  If you find yourself struggling, then ask people generic questions.  What part of the country are you from?  What brought you to ACME, Inc.?  Etc.  People love talking about themselves, and this will steer any focus off of you while filling conversation gaps.  P.S.  See helpful tip # 3 above.

7.  DON’T DISPLAY TOO MUCH AFFECTION PUBLICLY
EMPLOYEE: 
On the other end of the spectrum from ditching your date, you can always cross that terrible line of PDA.  This is a show of self control.  Prove to your employer that you can be patient and that you’re smart enough to know what is appropriate behavior and when.   Let’s just go ahead and state it is a safe bet to keep tongues in mouths.   Please keep your animal urges under control until your personal after-party.  Seriously, how long do parties last?  Depending on how big of an attendance there is, you may not have to stay until the very end!
PLUS 1:  Do your date a favor and adhere to the same rules.  There is nothing more awkward than making eye contact with the big boss while batting away a horny date trying to place a tongue in your ear or not-so-sneakily grabbing at your groin.

Um… I can see why it’s so hard to control yourself.

8.  DON’T SHAG YOUR BOSS:
EMPLOYEE: 
Holy crap, this is a bad idea.  I don’t care how hot he/she is.  Thou shalt not shag/kiss/grope/flirt with the Bossarino.  It’ll spin a tangled web of misery over time or end after one night and leave you feeling regretful and stupid.  There is nothing worse than having to worry if your boss will be able to separate work and life or having to feel like you’re trapped in a relationship because it may impact your job.
PLUS 1:  If you exist in this scenario, then your date has broken AIBC’s party etiquette rule #6.  You will not be judged if you walk out on your date (with or without throwing your drink in his/her face).  P.S.  Do NOT hook up with your date’s boss.

And seriously, do you really want your boss to see your panties?

9. DON’T TIE TWELVE ON:
EMPLOYEE:  Yes, this is your time to let loose.  Yes, you are supposed to be able to feel safe and have fun, but the office place is a dirty, dirty world and people are looked down upon for not placing a personal cap on booze.  Plus, irresponsible drinking gets you ZERO respect.  You get behind the wheel of your car on the way home and that terrible accident or arrest record very likely won’t be the only damage you do.  Got a designated driver?  GREAT!  I love that you’re being an incredibly responsible adult.  But please know responsible drinking doesn’t get you bonus points among those who affect your aspiring career path; you’ll still be judged (like it or not this is the truth) for not having self control.  You never want to be the person who double fists, sloshes on the CEO, or has the Monday morning “I said what?” regrets.  This judgment is multiplied if you get fall down drunk, vomit, or are chatting incoherently and can exponentially increase your chances of breaking rules 6 & 7.
PLUS 1:  Although you are not restricted as strongly as an employee with career aspirations, it is your job to be a normal, likeable person for the employee’s sake.  If you can hold your booze and aren’t the DD then have a few and have fun, but please know when to stop drinking and shut up.  Ensure you and date can get home safely.

Trust me. No one will see rainbows.

And lastly, be sure to show gratitude- Thank the host and event planner/organizer upon departure. Not only is this an opportunity to exemplify good manners, it will make you stand out from the many employees and guests who do not.  So go and have fun!  ‘Tis the Season.

Much love,

Shelly (with some help from Krissi)
#dontgetschnockered #amibeingcatty #helpingthosewhoarecommonsensechallenged

The Two Gs: Grace and Gratitude

I was taught at an early age how to accept a gift graciously and with gratitude.  I was prompted to write thank you notes after each holiday and when I received a package in the mail.  I remember how tedious the act felt when I was a child, but I must admit that my parents were right to urge me to express my appreciation at an early age.  With most of our lives being lived online these days, grace and gratitude seem to be easily forgotten. OMGforme Recently I have encounted three gift receiving situations that have left me wondering if their parents didn’t raise them right:

1.  The Disappointed Child – at many a birthday party (including my own son’s past birthday parties) I have heard a child disappointedly utter, “I already have this toy” or worse, “this isn’t what I asked for.”

Suggestion:  Set aside some time with your children before a gift-giving situation and remind them to smile and say “thank you” after they open each gift.  Also tell them to check the gift tag BEFORE opening the present.  That way they’ll know just who to look out for after the wrapping paper flies. thankyou 2.  The Family That Can’t Be Bothered:  There are families that receive gifts from far away family members in the mail and never even call to let the senders know the package arrived, let alone if the gifts were enjoyed.

Suggestion: During holiday season, we can get wrapped up in the things that come “wrapped up” but when it comes time to open that box o’gifts from Grammy and Pop make sure you have the camera ready.  If writing a thank you note and throwing in some snapshots is too much to ask, throw the pictures up on your Facebook or Instagram wall and tag the gift givers.  This rule of thumb works perfectly for adults as well.  When someone sends flowers or a gift your way, snap a quick picture.  They will love the chance to see the smile on little Susie’s face when she gets the dolly she had been eyeing or the vase full of beautiful flowers that arrived safe and sound. word 3. The Inconsiderate Adults:  I have heard adults mock a present that another adult has picked out because it was annoying, unattractive, or obtrusive.

Suggestion: Just bite your tongue.  When the gift makes it your way and it has an “off” switch then without being seen, turn the switch and find a nice shelf to display the new gift on.  If the gift receiver seems a bit baffled on what to say, help them out with a helpful line like, “Jillian will look great in that sweater next fall.  Nice job, Jim.”  They will be forever in your debt.

A point I want to draw attention to is that all three of these situations often end with a crestfallen look on the gift-giver’s face.  No one should feel that way after they give you a gift.

When you unwrap that loaf of homemade fruitcake, annoying children’s toy, or the just a bit too loud sweater, remember that this is a gift.  Someone took the time to leave their house, search a store, pay with their hard earned money, wrap the gift and deliver it to you. gifts And while there are times when a gift may prompt you to think “do you even know me?”  I urge you to be thankful and gracious in your response anyway. Maybe the gift seems a bit snide, such as a cleaning supplies from your mother-in-law or a pedometer from your over zealous fitness minded friend.  Tell them how helpful their gift is, and how generous it was for them to think of you.  After all the sacrifice of someone’s time and money is well worth your gratitude.

-Ninjakitty

#fakeittillyamakeit  #grinandbearit  #saythankyou

RAACK of the Day: The List that Keeps Giving

The gauntlet has been thrown.

Can you make it through our 25 Random Acts of Anti-Catty Kindness?

The first five deeds went up December 5. From here on out, we’ll post one new RAACK of the Day here (in descending order for ease of use). Come back and see if you can make it to Santa’s nice list after all…and don’t try to cheat by skipping numbers. That jolly old elf has eyes everywhere!

24.) Memorialize.
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Today’s random act of kindness focuses on you and your family. Christmas holidays are about a lot of things, but one of the biggest is memories. We spend a lot of time remembering things that have come and gone: last Christmas, the Christmas when all the cousins were under the age of 10, the Christmas where you were alone and couldn’t make it home to be with the rest of your family. But we should also take the time to remember those who are no longer with us.

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Life is actually a whole bunch of memories strung together. Revisit those that are important to you, but do not get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of the holidays that you forget to make new memories this year. This RAACK will ensure your holiday is great one: make it be just the way you want to remember!

I’m glad you read this, now put down your cell phone and go make some memories!!

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23.) Spread some holiday cheer. There’s a town or city full of people around you every day who could use a little boost for the season. You can make it happen easily on the cheap.

i believe

Attain one pack of holiday cards from any store. Take a break to fill them out as needed, and deliver in person. No need for a middle man, stamps or even the name of your addressee.

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The recipients are yours to choose. You could take some to the local NICU or children’s hospital specifically signed as get well cards. They could become festive thank you notes to volunteers of a local charitable organization. You could pass some out to random people on the street or people in your neighborhood.

Just be ready to cut yourself off!

stop me

The possibilities for this easy RAACK are endless enough that you may find yourself buying another pack of cards (or two or three) to keep going. Know your limits.

22.) Deliver some warmth. Take a meal to someone who needs it.

omletteville

Your recipient can be the homeless man under the bridge, the lone retiree next door or the new mom still recovering from the maternity ward.

This doesn’t have to be a Top Chef challenge. If you feel the need to go all Martha Stewart and break out the casserole dish, knock yourself out. Just know there’s no shame in a nice bag of take out.

yum

A warm, already prepared meal with little to no clean up  tastes like heaven no matter if it came from your oven or the restaurant down the street.

21.) Gift the givers and the needy. Preheat the oven or break out the credit card, today you get to play Keebler elf.

thieveler elves

Make up your mind now. It’s time to either break out that June Cleaver apron or find the cookie aisle quickly. There are people out there in desperate need of a Christmas cookie fix to make the chaos and stress of the season disappear in a blur of sugar induced holiday cheer.

buddy cookie

Find your favorite recipe. Snickerdoodles. Fruit cake cookies. Gingerbread men. Whatever your brand of deliciousness, multiply the ingredients by at least two and find some cute-sy goodie bags or boxes to hold them.

More of an Oreo or Chips Ahoy kind of baker? Grab three or four bags and prepare for delivery.

Take your sleigh to the nearest fire department, police station, E911 headquarters or emergency room and pass around the love to the overworked and underappreciated staff.

help santa

Deliver a batch to the local homeless shelter or haven for domestic abuse victims and share some homemade (or close enough) sweets and a few happy tidings for the holiday. If you’re feeling particularly generous, grab a couple of quarts of milk and some red solo cups to pair with the yum.

cookie monster santa

And yes, you may have one or two cookies solely in the name of testing while you’re packing everything in the car. Playing guinea pig is part of your job as a do-gooder.

Come on! You can’t save all of the tasty stuff for the head elf.

20.) Give the gift of fun.

fun

Schedule an “all you” night with the family or your besties tonight. Gather their favorite things together for a surprise, or you can let them choose it all from the munchies to the place and the activity.

doctor fun

No grunts or groans from you, either. If you’d rather have Tex-Mex than Chinese food or prefer going out to a movie instead of staying in for a Just Dance video game marathon, keep it to yourself. It’s all about them tonight.

party-on

19.) Say “thank you.” There’s no telling how many people are owed this phrase every day who just don’t get it. How many actual random acts of kindness (instead of the meticulously planned out ones) pass through our little lives every day without a nod, wink or word of gratitude?

How funny that we never think of ourselves as spoiled children. Guess what, ladies? The world doesn’t owe us a thing. The second we forget that and take the little things that make the day not suck so much for granted, that’s exactly the role we’re playing.

never_spanked_as_kids

Today is make up day.

You don’t have to write a note or send an e-card to make things official unless you feel the need. Just spend 24 hours being openly thankful.

Every time someone holds a door for you, offers you a pen when yours is at the bottom of your purse or just smiles when you walk by, acknowledge them.

Tell your co-worker how your morning mood lifts when she’s made that pot of coffee before everyone gets to the office. Give your significant other an extra kiss for letting the dog out. Praise your kids for getting ready without the sibling version of WWE smackdown this morning. Let your friend know how much you appreciate her sitting through the gripe-fest about your boss last night.

There’s plenty to be thankful for if we take time to see it and say it in some way.

Oh. By the way, thanks for reading and RAACKing from the AIBC team.

Beyonce-Wink

18.) Tell your mama you love her. There’s not a woman among us who doesn’t have some form of mother issues.

boohoo

Is she too clingy? Too distant? Too open with her (mostly negative) opinions? Too up in your business? Too uninterested in your daily drama? Join the club and suck it up, Buttercup.

oprah deal

Whatever your excuse is for never calling or visiting, put it aside for a day. Nobody’s perfect. And we do mean nobody. Hint, hint.

practically perfect

Remember how blessed you are to have a mother to roll your eyes at or share your happiest moments. Not everyone is so lucky.

Life is too short to let things that are minor in the long run ruin a perfectly normal dysfunctional relationship. Whether you’re a gushy girl or more of the punch-her-in-the-arm-and-grunt-ditto kind, say it and show it while you can.

17.) Shut the pie-hole. Remember when Mom told you that if you can’t say anything nice, not to say anything at all? Try that Yoda-ism out for a while.

piehole

Initiate a No Nag/No Complaining Day with your family. That means if your significant other forgets to take the trash out or or leaves the toilet seat up you have to let it go. Just for today. You can do it! Bite that lip.

When the dog eats half your shoe and your child writes on the wall with crayons, give yourself a timeout and tame that tongue. Practice with me: “Man, I hated those heels,” and “That’s very creative, Johnny. I was planning on painting that wall anyway.” You can still politely pass the time-out corner to Monet, by the way.

bad mom

BUT this RAACK also means the family has to try to follow the rules, too. When you put that broccoli on their plates, the kids should say, “Yum, Mother. Thanks for preparing such nutritious food.” When you wash your hubby’s work pants with the pen still in the pocket, the correct response should be, “Those khakis needed a little more color, honey. Thanks!”

It could happen.

monkey butt

The challenge might not be easy, but the end result should be a more B.S. filled and relaxed atmosphere for the whole family.

*If you’re single and fabulous, apply this RAACK to your work environment. Co-workers are just as likely to reciprocate as children and spouses.*

Happy holidays! Enjoy the un-sassy while it lasts.

16.) Volunteer. You know you’ve had this on your list of New Year’s resolutions at least once in the past five years. Make it happen.

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You may not be able to go help out today, but at least find a place to do so. Find an organization that can use the skills you have. Whether it’s showing people how to interview for jobs properly, registering runners at a charitable 5k or the making kids laugh at an orphanage, find a cause that touches you heart (for whatever reason) and commit.

smarty volunteer

You can  start with a short-term gig raising money for a charity or set aside time each week to volunteer for however long you can. It doesn’t matter if you’re there 30 minutes or two hours. Even if you’re a one-shot volunteer, your donation of time and self could be the donation that helps some group out there help someone else.

aww snap

15.) Embrace a grandma. It’s totally up to you how literal you want to get with this one, but the AIBC team is willing to bet you know an awesome senior lady who could use that hug.


You know who she is. The mother-of-all at your synagogue or church. The old head that takes everyone under her wing at work. An elderly neighbor who lives alone. The lonely lady who never has visitors at the old folks’ home. It could even be your actual grandmother. Do something to show one of these ladies she’s appreciated today.

Not a touchy-feely person?

grandma dies

Show that gratitude with a simple gift: A soft set of jammies for Grammie, a nice devotional for the spiritual Mother Hen or a warm throw for the forgotten at the home.

But the most important part of this RAACK is not to run from it. Take your coat off. Have a cocoa and some conversation. Stay a while. Sometimes a little companionship is the best gift of all.

wolverine hug

14.) Clear Your Closet for Good. If you’re anything like the AIBC team, there’s very little room for the skeletons in your closet because of all of the junk you’ve accumulated over the years.

Why not let someone who needs it put some of that stuff to good use? This is just one Saturday, so we’re not expecting miracles. Let’s try for one closet cleared; not all of them. You can work through the others later.

Pick your closet and make room for three piles: “Keep,” “Give” and “Throw Away.” Go through your belonging with an honest eye. If you haven’t worn or used it in a year, get rid of it. If you haven’t worn a size six since college, donate those “one day” skinny jeans to someone who can wear them right now. If you think it’s too out of style to wear, don’t trash it. Someone out there will love it and hug it and call it vintage.

When you get your piles ready, pack up the “Give” stack to donate to a local charity. Whether you go to the Salvation Army, a veteran’s organization or a battered women’s shelter, your unwanted things can make a very big difference for somebody in your community.
13.) Donate a date. Have a favorite couple? Give them an easy date night in. They don’t even have to squabble over what to do. It’s movie night!

Even your work as an instigator is a no brain-er.

duh

Rent a movie from the Redbox. When in doubt about movie choice, go for the funny or a holiday classic. Package up some popcorn, sodas and candy. Attach a nice card with sweet sentiments and info on when to get the movie back the next day. Ding-dong ditch, and you’re done!

12.) Wrangle some kids. Offer a mom a few hours off. This is one of the most overwhelming times of year to be a parent. On top of job expectations, family commitments and holiday add-ons, they have to compete with someone who magically flies around the world in one night leaving a trail of gifts for everyone.

Parents put so much pressure on themselves to make the holidays “perfect” for their kids. Finding the perfect gift. Attending the most fun holiday events. Including the extended family. Making new traditions that matter. There’s this misconception that the whole thing should look like the front of a Hallmark card.

Dashing Through The No. . ifa

It just never works out that way. Nothing including human family is ever perfect, and getting over that takes some getting used to.

Give some mom you know a few hours to herself to embrace the imperfect beauty of knowing teens will roll their eyes at anything Christmas related, and the little ones will play with the boxes while their new toys cover the floor. It’s okay. Enjoy your break, Zen Mama.

zen10

Or if she isn’t there yet, let her spend the whole time playing chicken with the other carts in the local toy store while she scrambles to grab the last Skylanders game.
Just give her an opportunity to do whatever on her own for more than a minute. The “free babysitter for an afternoon” coupon is a gift even the man in the big red suit can’t upstage.

11.) Be a flatterer. You don’t have to be a kiss-up for the rest of the year, but today you are the Queen of Kindness. So, pucker up!

courtesy of designsbyck.blogspot.com
courtesy of designsbyck.blogspot.com

You need to hand out three compliments today. You read that right. Just three compliments.

That doesn’t sound that hard, right? The only kicker is they have to all be sincere. That means no “Kelly, I LOVE your new hair cut” as you roll your eyes when she leaves. Find someone doing something worth a word of praise, and give it up.

so fetch

Is your child quick to help his/her sibling put on a coat before you leave for school? Recognize what a sweet gesture that is. Does someone in your office always refill the copier before the paper disappears? Call them on their efficient generosity. Did your friend call up just to see if you having a good day? What a thoughtful person she is!

You don’t have to hand out empty kudos to mark this RAACK off your nice list. It’s as simple as paying a compliment where one is truly due.

Get out there and kiss some tail today for all the right reasons! You may find that once you start looking for positives to endorse you notice more real reasons to say something nice than you would have believed.

10.) Adopt a single. Nobody wants to feel alone at this time of year. While you gush over your significant other watching Miracle on 34th Street with you for the hundredth time or the fabulous scarf he/she couldn’t wait until Christmas morning to give you, pay attention. You could unwittingly be making a single person want to vomit or hurt you. Or both.

Catfight

Today’s RAACK isn’t about pitying those who chose single life; it’s about pausing to think about those we love who are free of the choke hold of the cliched better half.

beary single

But that freedom sometimes means none of the pluses that come from that connection, too. The holiday hype tends to rub that salt in a little.

Be that one awesome friend (or family member) to serve as a reminder that the ho-ho-holiday doesn’t equate to lonely or less than. She is loved and appreciated and wonderful just as herself. No arm candy required.

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Fill an inappropriately funny card with an iTunes or mani/pedi  gift card as a happy. Invite her to do amateur mani/pedis at your house while watching National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation and drinking eggnog. Bring her to the local Nutcracker production. Sing her a spontaneous Christmas carol. And fa-la-la-la-la, the list goes on.

Just find a way to be that red-nosed  light pointing the way to the end of these touchy- feely holidays. This, too, shall pass in a couple of weeks.

9.) Be a delivery girl (a.k.a., some random co-worker’s deliverance).

In honor of another fabulous Monday to start the work week, AIBC is taking it easy on the RAACK today. It’s hard enough to roll out of bed after the weekend, much less trudge back to that time clock.

Overworked

Number nine is a saintly job you can perform while on the job. Two birds and one stone? That’s a winner. Your new position is now officially Office Angel for the day. Wield your power wisely, Grasshopper.

As a Guardian of the Overworked, it shouldn’t be hard to find a deserving recipient .

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Bring coffee to that co-worker who came in before the crack of dawn to handle loose ends. Grab an extra to-go order at noon for the colleague who gave up her lunch hour to keep the office from getting behind. Score a soda or some snack machine gold for that newbie who looks like her head might explode by day’s end.

courtesy allwomenstalk.com
courtesy allwomenstalk.com

Serve whichever up with a smile, and your RAACK may just be the talk of the office today…IF you care about that kind of thing.

We guarantee your colleague will thank you, and you may have a new work buddy for life. If not, at least you can dodge a bullet when that newbie goes postal later.

8.) Reconnect if you dare. We all have list of family and friends who’ve fallen by the wayside over the years. We’re not suggesting a reunion with anyone you’ve un-friended on FaceBook or disowned; just try one of the few you’ve been meaning to catch up with.

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Pick one of those long-lost links, and get to it. Send an email or chat online today. Dial that cell phone. Write a letter if you want to go old school. Just reach out and try to make a real connection. It doesn’t matter if you only find out how they’re doing or take it further by setting a time to meet for coffee, you won’t know what you’re missing until you mark this one off the list.

And if the reunion only reminds you why you haven’t hung out in so long, you know what to do.

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7.) Thank a sister-in-arms. This is one of the hardest times of year for our military to be away from home, so send a card or happy box to a soldier deployed for the holidays. It’s funny how much you miss your grandma’s overcooked Christmas ham and the kids waking you up at 3 a.m. for presents when there’s no option to be there.

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Online organizations such as AnySoldier.com make it simple to get the name and address of a deployed soldier from any branch with a list of items he/she really needs to make that separation a little easier. It typically takes about two weeks for a package to make it to the Middle East, so there’s still time to play Santa to someone who’s working hard to keep you safe year-round. Don’t have time to make a package? You can donate funds at give2thetroops.org or shop for last minute gifts through their online mall for your purchases to give even more.

6.) Be that surrogate sister, daughter, etc.

dysfunctional family

Reach out to that co-worker, neighbor or random acquaintance who doesn’t have family in the area and set up a play date. Invite them to dinner, take in a movie or attend one of your local holiday festivities together. Even if you just grab a cup of coffee on the run, take a minute to show you care.

5.)    Be the office fairy. Dole out some anonymous treats when no one is looking: homemade goodies, a small gift card to a local shop or even seasonal swag are enough to bring a smile. Watch for people who need a holiday pick-me-up or the ones you know have worked their duffs off with little to no recognition.  How about the intern that makes everyone copies or the tech girl whose hair has started going gray since she started trying to explain Windows 8 to the boss?

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Deploy your gift, stand back and watch the magic. A little happy can go a long way in keeping the co-worker cats purring.

4.)    Get Star Student Status. Send a treat to your child’s teacher. You don’t have to wait until the last day of school before the holiday. It can be a handmade happy or something swankier. Just say thank you. This person isn’t just dealing with your kid’s version of silly; there’s a whole class full of it. And they aren’t allowed to hand out coal and switches at school anymore. Don’t have kids? Send something to one of your former teachers. You remember how much lip you used to give Mrs. King…

thank teacher

3.)    Say, “Cut This!” Let that exasperated mom wrangling two screaming kids through the checkout line at Walmart in front of you.

courtesy chicagocounseling.org

courtesy chicagocounseling.org

It’s a just few more minutes of your time, and you may have just saved her from an aneurism.

2.)    Make a Cross Town Treaty. You know that lady with her car hanging half out of the parking lot into traffic who obviously needs to get somewhere fast? Let her out. If she already cut you off, wrestle down that rising middle finger and replace it with a smile. It really won’t kill you. We promise. Turn up the radio and jam out afterward to shake off the angst.

funny-Gotye-cut-me-off-driving

1.)    Act Like a Girl Scout.

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Offer that senior citizen in the grocery store a hand reaching for the bread on the top shelf or assist in finding her brand of ketchup. Want to be extra nice? See if she needs any help getting her goods to the car later. Just be sure to offer your services in a way that isn’t too creepy.

Nice RACK! My Family’s Random Acts of Christmas Kindness

The search began shortly after the 2014 ginormous toy catalog hit our mailbox. After several successive days of hearing my two angels fight each other over who could drool on the ads and randomly being stalked into the bathroom about another dozen toys they had to have, I’d had enough.

The “me, me, me” of the Christmas season was already too much. There had to be a way to redirect our family’s attention to the real spirit of giving that is supposed to be the heart of the holiday.

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So I hit Pinterest and Google, of course. My search ended with me elbow deep in glitter and glue, hoping to un-spoil the moment (and my progeny) with a special advent calendar. I filled each of the 25 envelopes with one Random Act of Christmas Kindness to help us think of others at least once a day until Santa shows.

As I wrote down each selfless act, I started thinking of how much I take the little things for granted in my life— not much differently than my toy-obsessed kids. How many of my catty moments are fueled by me not thinking of the other person’s motivations and feelings? How many start with me getting so caught up in the pitfalls of daily life that I forget how blessed I really am?

The project became motivation to make my grown woman version of the calendar, complete with a nice RAACK.

courtesy of shirtmandude.com

courtesy of shirtmandude.com

No, no. That’s Random Acts of Anti-Catty Kindness, ladies… Keep those eyes right here.

The AIBC team will post one new RAACK of the Day on our site at Nice RAACK: The List that Keeps on Giving  from now until Christmas to help us all be a little less naughty and a bit nicer.

Maybe we can escape the season without all those switches and lumps of coal after all this year .

Happy claw-free holidays!

Melanie